Its been 6 months today since my mother died. Its hurting more now almost more than the day it happened. It wasn't even 11 months after my dad died, she passed. Valentines Day morning she was found on the floor by my sister. No one knew what had caused her death at the time so we waited almost 3 weeks for her autopsy results. Both of my parents died of overdoses. My parents battled with addiction their entire life and despite all my efforts to help them they couldn't think beyond their fix each day. I blame myself everyday, thinking if I had not let her go back to Baltimore, back into that environment she would still be here. Not sure how I can fight this urge to cry everyday. I often think it was suicide, she couldn't bare to spend the first Valentines Day without her soul mate. So lost right now, hoping the healing begins soon and I can focus again on the great things in life.